The Official PG Jokes...

[Dark Legion]

Bubblo nay ENGLISH k paper k liye
“MY BESY FRIEND” ka essay tayar kia
lakin paper mai “MY FATHER” ka essay a gaya.
Ab us nay socha k “MY BEST FRIEND” ka essay he likhta ho lakin
FRIEND k jaga FATHER ka word likh don ga.
Ab ESSAY kuch u tha.

“Father are everywhere but good father rare very rare.
I have so many father but my best father is MR.Hassan.
He is my neighbour.
He often comes to my house
and my Mother likes him very much.”

---------- Post added at 02:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:43 AM ----------

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki gaud me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

Santa:- Chal shanno, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

 

[abobobilly]

ZARDARI Means

Z = Ziada zaleel
A = Asli kameena
R = Registered Shaitan
D = Digital beghairat
A = Aamerical tail
R = Real haramkhor
I = Intehai Besharam



(Pardon my language)

---------- Post added at 03:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:59 AM ----------

USA ne choron ko pakarnay k liye ik machine banayi. Uski shhurowaat USA se ki gayi.
USA mein uss machine ne 30 minute mein 20 chor pakray.... England mein 30 minute mein 100 chor pakray....... India mein 30 minute mein 600 chor pakray...... Pakistan mein 15 minute mein wo machine chori ho gayi

 

[SolitarySoldier]

ZARDARI Means

Z = Ziada zaleel
A = Asli kameena
R = Registered Shaitan
D = Digital beghairat
A = Aamerical tail
R = Real haramkhor
I = Intehai Besharam



(Pardon my language)

---------- Post added at 03:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:59 AM ----------

USA ne choron ko pakarnay k liye ik machine banayi. Uski shhurowaat USA se ki gayi.
USA mein uss machine ne 30 minute mein 20 chor pakray.... England mein 30 minute mein 100 chor pakray....... India mein 30 minute mein 600 chor pakray...... Pakistan mein 15 minute mein wo machine chori ho gayi

i got both the jokes in sms

btw. political jokes are allowed?

 

[azharkhan]

End Of Innocence:

Chotay Bachay nay Darwaza khola or apni Behan kay BoyFriend ko dekh kar Masumiat se bola:
"Aap Roz Baji say milnay aa jatay ho Kya Aapki apni Baji nahin hai...?

---------- Post added at 06:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:22 AM ----------

End Of Chilness:

Finishing the Paper,
Coming out of the Examination Hall,
Smoking Cigarette and then asking a Friend:
"Konse subject ka Paper tha yaar...?

---------- Post added at 06:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:27 AM ----------

End Of Tension:

Larki nay Aapse Lift maangi,
Raastay mein Tabiyat kharab,
Aap Hospital lay gaye.
Doctor Bola,
Aap Baap Ban'ne walay hain.
Aap Bolay,
Mian iska Baap nahin hoon.
Larki Boli,
Aap hi bachay kay Baap hain.
Police aayi,
Aapka Checkup huwa,
Report aayi,
Kay,
Aap to Baap ban hi nahin sakte.
Aap nay Khuda ka shukar ada kiya.
Or,
Phir socha kay:
"Ghar pay jo 3 bachay hain Wo kis kay hain....?

 

[Sani]

Great Jokes Azhar. :clap

 

[abobobilly]

my god!
azhar (lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
damn u
so much funny (lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
& again
(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
O' i just cant stop laughing

 

[MrJayPlays]

Ek sheeri Rhman thi deewani c Yusaf Rza Gilani pr wo mrti thi
Chori chori chupke chupke Altaf Husain se mila krti thi.
Kch kehna tha uss ko Nwaz Shreef se
Jaaney Asif Ali Zrdari se kyn drti thi
Jb b choudry Shujat se milti thi
Bs yhi pucha krti thi
Msharaf kesa larka he,
Ye Musharaf kesa larka ha.






What is diffrence b/w WIFE & SAALI?
Ans:
Saali is beauty, wife is duty,
SAali is pension, Wife is tension,
Saali is yummy, Wife is vehmi,
Saali is patakha wife is syapa,
Saali is cool, Wife is fool,
Sali is tutti fruity, Wife is kismat photi,
Sali is fresh cake, Wife is earth quacke......






Teacher: Bacho wada karo kabi cigrett nahi piyo gay?
Bache: Nahi piyein gay.
Techr: Girls ka pecha nahi karo gay.
Bache: nahi karein gay.
Techr: girls se flirt nahi karo gay.
Bachey: Nahi karein gay.
Techer: or watan pe zindgi Qurban karo gay.
Bache: kar dein gay, aisi zindgi ka, or karna b kya hy.




1 khusrey ki death ho gai. Qabr mein frishty aay aur kaha k utho aur hisab do.
Khusra bola :
haye haye, Lo daso !! sano dita ki si jera hisab lain aa gaye oo.




Ek PATHAN.. larki say:
Hum say shadi karo tum ko sawab milay ga..
Larki: woh kaisay?
PATHAN: Hamari shadi hogi bacha hoga, bache ka name SAWAB KHAN rakhenge.






Dost Pthan se:
APRIL FOOL manaya?
Pthan:
Haan
Dost:
Kis K 7 or kaisy?
Pthan:
BV K 7, Hum ne 3 bar Talaaq dia jab Wo Pareshan hui tu Hum bola:
"APRIL FOOL"




Girl ask mother:
Ami ye "CHAWAL" aur "MARASI" main kia farq hota ha?
Mother:beta agr msg parhne wala hans pare tu "MARASI"
na hanse tu
"CHAWAL"

 

[abobobilly]

(lmao)
good one's Jazzy! (lmao)

 

[CoLd FuSiOn]

End Of Tension:

Larki nay Aapse Lift maangi,
Raastay mein Tabiyat kharab,
Aap Hospital lay gaye.
Doctor Bola,
Aap Baap Ban'ne walay hain.
Aap Bolay,
Mian iska Baap nahin hoon.
Larki Boli,
Aap hi bachay kay Baap hain.
Police aayi,
Aapka Checkup huwa,
Report aayi,
Kay,
Aap to Baap ban hi nahin sakte.
Aap nay Khuda ka shukar ada kiya.
Or,
Phir socha kay:
"Ghar pay jo 3 bachay hain Wo kis kay hain....?

good one azhar...especially with the mysterious ending and all.

 

[Modmaster]

End Of Innocence:

Chotay Bachay nay Darwaza khola or apni Behan kay BoyFriend ko dekh kar Masumiat se bola:
"Aap Roz Baji say milnay aa jatay ho Kya Aapki apni Baji nahin hai...?

---------- Post added at 06:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:22 AM ----------

End Of Chilness:

Finishing the Paper,
Coming out of the Examination Hall,
Smoking Cigarette and then asking a Friend:
"Konse subject ka Paper tha yaar...?

---------- Post added at 06:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:27 AM ----------

End Of Tension:

Larki nay Aapse Lift maangi,
Raastay mein Tabiyat kharab,
Aap Hospital lay gaye.
Doctor Bola,
Aap Baap Ban'ne walay hain.
Aap Bolay,
Mian iska Baap nahin hoon.
Larki Boli,
Aap hi bachay kay Baap hain.
Police aayi,
Aapka Checkup huwa,
Report aayi,
Kay,
Aap to Baap ban hi nahin sakte.
Aap nay Khuda ka shukar ada kiya.
Or,
Phir socha kay:
"Ghar pay jo 3 bachay hain Wo kis kay hain....?

(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)
(lmao)(lmao)(lmao)

 

[Sani]

Awesome jokes JAYZZY Bro especially that April fool one.

 

[Dark Legion]

A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I’ll study

---------- Post added at 03:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:52 AM ----------

Phatan train me su su kr k aya


BV: Ap ka pyjama geela kyu hy?

Phatan: Toilet mein likha hy
“Jisam ka koe b hesa bahir na nekale”.

---------- Post added at 03:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:02 AM ----------

PATHAN Scientist Ne Tajarbe Mein Makkhi Ke Par Kaat Ker Kaha:

Urr Ja

Makkhi Nahi Urri

PATHAN Bola: Is Tajarbe Se Sabit Hua Ke Makkhi Ke Par Kaatne Se Makkhi

Sun Nahi Sakti.

---------- Post added at 03:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:10 AM ----------

Sardar Friend: O tujhe sharam nhi aati tu apni BV K sath kapre dhoo rha tha.

Sardar: Es me sharam ke kya baat hai?
Wo b to roti pakanay main meri
Help karti hai.

---------- Post added at 03:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 AM ----------

Policeman: Tum ne faqeer kiu mara?

Pathan: Hum ne ise kayi baar bola tha ke hum aisa waisa aadmi nahi hai,

Phir bhi ye bolta hai

"Aik baar de dey baba, phir nahi aaonga..

---------- Post added at 03:21 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:18 AM ----------

Pathan: Yaar aaj maine apni bivi ko kisi aur k sath cinema jatay hue dekha.

Dost: To un k pechay kyun nahi gae.

Pathan: Yar maine wo film 4 dafa dekhi hoe thi.

 

[MrJayPlays]

Phatan train me su su kr k aya


BV: Ap ka pyjama geela kyu hy?

Phatan: Toilet mein likha hy
“Jisam ka koe b hesa bahir na nekale”.

*The end*.Epic i would say

Policeman: Tum ne faqeer kiu mara?

Pathan: Hum ne ise kayi baar bola tha ke hum aisa waisa aadmi nahi hai,

Phir bhi ye bolta hai

"Aik baar de dey baba, phir nahi aaonga..

OMG ..Awesom.

keep it coming guys

 

[Dark Legion]

Pathan shop pe ja k: aik kilo bhains ka dudh de do.

Shop keeper: tmhra brtan chota hai.

Pathan: acha bakri ka de do..

---------- Post added at 03:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:27 AM ----------

Likh kar Laney ka kaha tha?

Pathan: Hum kya karey, jab Hum ne Abuses will lead to ban par Pen rakha tö wo Hamara tang par
Kaat krar bhag gaya.

---------- Post added at 03:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:35 AM ----------

Teacher:What is common between Allama Iqbal, Abuses will lead to banhi and Qaid-e-Azam?


Pathan replied: “All r born on govt holidays.”

---------- Post added at 03:38 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:36 AM ----------

Aik pathan apne rickshy k sath khra tha
aik aadmi aya or pucha: khan bhai iqbal town jao ge?

Khan: mei to chla jaunga lakin mere rickshay ka kon khayal rakhega?

---------- Post added at 03:38 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:38 AM ----------

Aik pathan road pe Latrine kar raha tha to police ne pakar lia.

Jb ussey lejane lgay to woh Pathan bola.

Saboot to uthalo

---------- Post added at 03:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:38 AM ----------

shit damn shit

---------- Post added at 03:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 AM ----------

Pathan: Khudkushi per taqreer kar raha tha.

Jazbati ho kar kehne laga,

Khudkushi Haram hai,

Zulm hai,

Gunah hai,

Is se behter hai ke insan apne aap ko Goli maar de...

---------- Post added at 03:48 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 AM ----------

Us se Poocha ke tumne Train Patri se kiu Utarai??

Pathan: O yaara aik banda samnay aa gaya tha to brake marne ka time nahi tha.

Hamara Assistant ne bola ke is ke oper charha do.

Wakeel: Phir?

Pathan: Bas woh banda Patri se utar gaya..!

---------- Post added at 03:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:48 AM ----------

How do you recognize Pathan in School?


He is the one who Erases the Notes from the Book,
When the teacher erases the board.

---------- Post added at 03:51 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:50 AM ----------

Now urs tries.forgive if it was posted already

 

[azharkhan]

"WHY STUDENTS FAIL"

Total Dayz in a Year 365.

SunDayz = 52 Dayz in a Year
Dayz left 313.

Summer HoliDayz = 50 Dayz
Dayz left 263.

8 Hours Daily Sleep = 130 Dayz gone
Dayz left 141.

1 Hour Daily playing = 15 Dayz gone
Dayz left 126.

2 Hours Daily for Eating = 30 Dayz
Dayz left 96.

1 Hour Talking = 15 Dayz
Dayz left 81.

Exams Dayz = 35 Dayz
Dayz left 46.

EiD & Govt. HoliDayz = 20 Dayz
Dayz left 26.

Muvs, Tv & Entertainment etc = 25 Dayz atleast
Dayz left 1.

That 1 Day is Your BiRTHDAY...!
No Study Day in the Whole Year....!

 

[Dark Legion]

Pathan ko Raah chalte aik CHIRAGH mila,
Usne CHIRAGH ko ragra us main se aik JIN nikla,
Jin ne kaha: Teen khuahishat batao.
Pathan: Ek Shandar banglow ho, (Aa jata hai)
Us main bohat ameer log hon (Woh bhi aajate hain)
aur
aur
Us main mujhe CHOWKIDAR rakhwa do.

 

[abobobilly]

Pathan ko Raah chalte aik CHIRAGH mila,
Usne CHIRAGH ko ragra us main se aik JIN nikla,
Jin ne kaha: Teen khuahishat batao.
Pathan: Ek Shandar banglow ho, (Aa jata hai)
Us main bohat ameer log hon (Woh bhi aajate hain)
aur
aur
Us main mujhe CHOWKIDAR rakhwa do.

(lmao)
good one bro
(lmao)

 

[fawad]

hahahahahahahahaaahahha that is a good one, rest were old

 

[wmughal]

Pathan ko Raah chalte aik CHIRAGH mila,
Usne CHIRAGH ko ragra us main se aik JIN nikla,
Jin ne kaha: Teen khuahishat batao.
Pathan: Ek Shandar banglow ho, (Aa jata hai)
Us main bohat ameer log hon (Woh bhi aajate hain)
aur
aur
Us main mujhe CHOWKIDAR rakhwa do.

ki na wohee pathano wali bat hahahah Lolz..........

 

[bilalarc]

Here you all go hav fun readind...


1.High Birth Rate

A little rural town had one of the highest birth rates in the country and this phenomenon attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; moved to town; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up."

2.A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch

3. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

4.Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'

the real good one
---------------------------------------------

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."

"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."

Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.

"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.

"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?"

"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."

"How do I do that?" Tom asked.

"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."

Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.

"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:

"Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shi**in' all over the bed!"

thanks for reading
bilal