Would you let your GF wear anything she wants? Your wife?

Would you let your Girlfriend / Wife wear anything she wants?


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khalifa97

bundmash
Jan 4, 2013
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AOA,
My gf is (Lebanese) Christian she some times ask me what to wear i stop her wearing shot skirts in university (so other guys don't stare at her)therefore she dont , she thinks, In this way i care about her ;)
 

LeGenD123

The One and Only
Sep 5, 2007
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No, because I guess every woman knows how to dress sensibly. Either way, you just can't force anyone to do what you want.
You don't compromise on bad/questionable behavior, period. Otherwise, failure is the outcome in all walks of life. Mulk mein burahi ki accountability nahin hai aur iss waja se pure mulk mein corruption pahal gai hai.

If you cannot control your wife, you are going to fail as a father, period.

Samaj aai?

Burger mentality se bahir niklo or mard bano. This is my advice to all men of this nation. Don't be pacifists or idols. This doesn't means that you start abusing others but you should know when to put your foot down.
 
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HI87

******
Oct 14, 2009
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My last girlfriend had big boobs (36DDs), and she used to wear kurta's which showed a lot of cleavage. She said it was because she was well endowed, it bothered me because it was indecent in certain contexts. If I'm outside of Pakistan, I wouldn't have problems with my wife or gf wearing whatever, bikinis, skirts but in Pakistan, I would recommend they dress modestly.
 

R3Z0N

Shingeki No Boobies
Dec 11, 2008
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My last girlfriend had big boobs (36DDs), and she used to wear kurta's which showed a lot of cleavage. She said it was because she was well endowed, it bothered me because it was indecent in certain contexts. If I'm outside of Pakistan, I wouldn't have problems with my wife or gf wearing whatever, bikinis, skirts but in Pakistan, I would recommend they dress modestly.
Pics or didn't happen.
 

opethian

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Hahaha :) best comment @R3ZON
So this thread is still alive
Kakoon ki shadian b ho gae ya bachi b pata lee but abhe tak samaj nae aye Inko keh rakhna kaisay hai
N a married guy is asking such queries in a forum where 80% r under 18 with raging hormones n fast internet now wat else to expect :)
"Pichoo say akhaaa khulllaa"


Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
 
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AsadAbrar

PG's Original Coolboy \m/
Aug 27, 2009
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You don't compromise on bad/questionable behavior, period. Otherwise, failure is the outcome in all walks of life. Mulk mein burahi ki accountability nahin hai aur iss waja se pure mulk mein corruption pahal gai hai.

If you cannot control your wife, you are going to fail as a father, period.

Samaj aai?

Burger mentality se bahir niklo or mard bano. This is my advice to all men of this nation. Don't be pacifists or idols. This doesn't means that you start abusing others but you should know when to put your foot down.
Yaar, mujhe burger na kaho please.

I meant keh trying to force someone to do something leads to fights and shit. Pehle hi banda soch samajh ke shadi karay. If you try to enforce your opinion on others, what's the difference between you and Taliban?

Apni accountability ziada zaroori hai pehle btw. Har koi apni accountability karay and follow Islam or your respective religion or societal morals/obligations and no one would ever question anyone.
 

opethian

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You don't compromise on bad/questionable behavior, period. Otherwise, failure is the outcome in all walks of life. Mulk mein burahi ki accountability nahin hai aur iss waja se pure mulk mein corruption pahal gai hai.

If you cannot control your wife, you are going to fail as a father, period.

Samaj aai?

Burger mentality se bahir niklo or mard bano. This is my advice to all men of this nation. Don't be pacifists or idols. This doesn't means that you start abusing others but you should know when to put your foot down.
Again kisi burger ki samaj main nae aani ye science
Jis culture main billo zardari mard ho Aur mathira aik celebrity u can well imagine mental state of men in such society :)

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lifeinabucket

Active member
Sep 11, 2010
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You don't compromise on bad/questionable behavior, period. Otherwise, failure is the outcome in all walks of life. Mulk mein burahi ki accountability nahin hai aur iss waja se pure mulk mein corruption pahal gai hai.

If you cannot control your wife, you are going to fail as a father, period.

Samaj aai?





Burger mentality se bahir niklo or mard bano. This is my advice to all men of this nation. Don't be pacifists or idols. This doesn't means that you start abusing others but you should know when to put your foot down.


How about beating your wife to control her?

Why just put the foot down and say you can't wear this.

She still goes out and wears a sleeveless ... start beating her...

Show her you're the man....

Hit her hard !

Mard mard mard.... Again my case rests... Male dominated society with male chauvinists abound !
 

neox3d

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Feb 11, 2014
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If you cannot control your own sins/mistakes who are you to question your wife? Blind man showing way to others?

By the way apni is mulla mentality se nikjal ayo...apni aurat/biwi/beti k samney itni izzat kamayo k ankh band kar k tumhari baat waisey he maan ley. Aurat mard ki baat tab he nahi manti jab dil se uski izzat apney se be ziyada na karey, period. Agar tumhari aurat tumhari baat na maney to sharam kha k ye sochna chahiye ka aisa hua kyun...mei aur kya behtar kar sakta hun k meri itni izzat ho k meri baat manni jaye.

Zabardasti se tum izzat nahi kamatey sirf anpi marziyan he chalety ho...khuda bhi sochta ho ga, aurat jaisi nehmat kis ko dey de main ney.
 

ICON

Active member
Jul 21, 2009
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If you cannot control your own sins/mistakes who are you to question your wife? Blind man showing way to others?

By the way apni is mulla mentality se nikjal ayo...apni aurat/biwi/beti k samney itni izzat kamayo k ankh band kar k tumhari baat waisey he maan ley. Aurat mard ki baat tab he nahi manti jab dil se uski izzat apney se be ziyada na karey, period. Agar tumhari aurat tumhari baat na maney to sharam kha k ye sochna chahiye ka aisa hua kyun...mei aur kya behtar kar sakta hun k meri itni izzat ho k meri baat manni jaye.

Zabardasti se tum izzat nahi kamatey sirf anpi marziyan he chalety ho...khuda bhi sochta ho ga, aurat jaisi nehmat kis ko dey de main ney.
Lol - This statement is surely going to attract more critics here .
 

neox3d

Proficient
Feb 11, 2014
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A. I fail to see how someone needs to be properly qualified . If for example you see someone innocent being attacked, would you not try to stop it? Right and wrong only need clear definition to those who are morally corrupt/ sociopathic. Islam has extended this concept to include all issues. Hence promoting a communal effort to stop evil , even smaller evils like lying , cheating corruption etc. I agree that a morally corrupt person should not be preaching. But that does not mean something i plainly see to be wrong , i should not atleast try to stop it from happening.
B.You have not given any source for this "historical background". Till which point it is merely conjecture or someone's opinions. It may be someones analysis. Does not make it relevant since the ayat was sent by Allah. He alone knows the "historical background". I would refrain from speculating as far as islamic laws is concerned. I believe the Lord to be more than enough to decide for us whats good and what's not. And He has.Whether you shun that law in the name of being "modern" is entirely up to you. Does not make it irrelevant in modern times.
C. Hadith IS islamic law. Kindly reconfirm from learned people. You are just nitpicking. Many things have been defined by Hadith as being allowed or prohibited. E.g nikah mutah (according to sahih bukhari & muslim) , prohibition of wearing silk for men,prohibition of music etc. Hence it is part of Shariah and Islamic law. What you say is merely saying it differently. Being based in hadith and derived from hadith and hadith being law is the same thing. Merely word play.

D. My quote from him was to show that even an atheist would not be put off by islam , due it being archaic . Period. He was an atheist. I dont hold him in high regard for his views on islam. Merely an example of the western tilt towards islam.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
Aristotle

The moment i mentioned Shaw and all hell breaks loose.

1. Agreed.

3. No , the greeks weren't. They were notorious for mistreatment of women not necessarily physical, but demeaning in general.
I could give you hundreds of articles on this.Here are two papers as an example.

History: Women in Ancient Greece

http:/www.academia.edu/1169194/Domestic_Abuse_and_Violence_Against_Women_in_Ancient_Greece

There are many books and articles on the subject.I would advise you to go and read again the treatment of women in ancient greece. Islam was and still is the only religion promoting equality of rights for women in all fields of life.


For all those arguing that we shouldnt "shove" islam down your throats , the reverse is also true. You are shoving liberal and antireligious arguments down our throats. Both should not happen. The moment Islam is mentioned , two cliques are formed. Both should allow the other to speak. That is what education should teach us. Sadly it hasnt. For Muslims, Islam IS everything. Maybe you dont feel that way. That doesnt invalidate the way muslims in general feel nor are those feelings in anyway misguided.

"And our duty is only to convey plainly (the Message)."
(Surah Yasin Verse 17)

Whether you believe it is up to you. The message has been conveyed.



Sent from my LG-E975

I missed your post [MENTION=26485]criticalerror[/MENTION]

A. No, someone qualified is needed to instruct others, sharaabi, sharaabi ko kya rokay ga? Lets not say thing slike domestic abuse4 because obviously hamaey rokna hai usey but isliye because human rights are being violated. Its a seperate reason and issue.

B. This is plain history. The most relevant source. Just research it out, you will see for yourself.

C. No, there is a difference, not all Hadith is law. So the Hadith is not law, some laws are formed based on Hadith.

D. I know plenty of athiests who are seriously put off by Islam. Its different for every individual, giving shaw as an example proves nothing that west is tilted towards islam, because nor atheism nor Shaw are representatives of the west.

1. we agree here completely.

2. My apologies, I intended to mean sparta but instead wrote greek. So again sorry for the mistake. However, if you look up a little you will find that:

Spartan women were very independant by law, had a very high status in socity and simply owned 40-60 percent of all land in sparta.

In Mosiac-Jewsih law which is 2000 years older than Islam, woman and men had same rights.

In Ancient egypt men and women had same rights.

In Ancient Rome, citizens of Rome, men or women, had all the same rights and privilages. Women could even lead a solo case in a roman court.

Islam brought rights to the middleeast but it is factually wrong to say that Islam is the first and only system which gave women rights, its simply not true.

No ones shoving liberalities down your throat. Liberal means to live and let live, you have a view, I have a view, lets apply it to ourselves and let others do their own. I know you disagree with forced religion, so do I, so we are close to an understanding, on this atleast. I don't disagree with your last point, indeed convey message...job done.
 

LeGenD123

The One and Only
Sep 5, 2007
3,737
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Lahore
Yaar, mujhe burger na kaho please.

I meant keh trying to force someone to do something leads to fights and shit. Pehle hi banda soch samajh ke shadi karay. If you try to enforce your opinion on others, what's the difference between you and Taliban?

Apni accountability ziada zaroori hai pehle btw. Har koi apni accountability karay and follow Islam or your respective religion or societal morals/obligations and no one would ever question anyone.
The burger remark was not specifically aimed towards you, it is aimed towards those men who have emasculated mindset due societal conditioning.

Here is an analogy:

If you do something wrong, would your parents not advice you against it? If you continue to repeat the wrong, would your parents not penalize you? Key thing is "accountability" of wrong/bad behavior.

Their is law and order system in a society to prevent its decay; similarly, their should be rules and boundaries in a relationship to prevent its decay.

Enforcing your opinion on others is not a crime if you are not in the wrong. Your focus should be on the context and not simple black and white connotations. Relationships are not black and white matters.

Taliban analogy is extremely lame and pathetic, your boss gives you orders and enforces his opinions upon others in the work environment, why he does this? To fulfill his obligations to the organization, abide by its rules and keep it afloat. So should the boss be equated with Taliban?

I am not sure why you are twisting my point towards "apni accountability." Of-course, wiser spouse is likely to take charge in a relationship. Just like an organization, a family also needs wise leadership to prevent its decay and destruction.

Also, "apni accountability" logic does not realistically applies to the society, because "laton kai bhoot baton sai nahin mante." A corrupt person needs to learn a lesson the hard way or he will never.

Samaj aai? Lagta hai kai aap ne dunya ki ground realities ko sahi nahin pechana abhi taak.

How about beating your wife to control her?

Why just put the foot down and say you can't wear this.

She still goes out and wears a sleeveless ... start beating her...

Show her you're the man....

Hit her hard !

Mard mard mard.... Again my case rests... Male dominated society with male chauvinists abound !
Why do you need to beat your wife to put an end to her questionable behavior? Their are other ways to penalize your spouse to make her realize the errors in her ways.

Apne mindset ko broad karo. Matters of life are not so black and white.

If your wife does not respects your decision, then you shall warn her first. If she doesn't takes your warning seriously, you can choose to not sleep with her. If she still doesn't gets your point after some days, you tell her to don't come back to the home unless she realizes errors in her ways. Let her go outside wearing those dirty dresses but you lock the door and do not let her get in your home unless she learns to respect your decision. Point here is not about enforcing your opinion on others, point here is about preventing decay of your marriage and making sure that their will be accountability for bad/questionable behavior.

Male chauvinist bullshit logic have nothing to do with this matter. Choodoo mard (emasculated man) ki muashre mei koi value nahin hoti, yaad rakho.

God have given you strength and highly intelligent mind, learn to use both in smart ways. Learn to judge things in accordance with context and not as per black and white connotations.

If your own wife will not respect you, your kids wouldn't either. Get this printed on a stone.

A man is judged on the basis of his strength(s).

In an Islamic society, a man is expected to be the captain of the family. He have responsibility on his shoulders to provide roti, kapra and makaan to his family, he have the responsibility to prevent decay of his family, being wise. This is what "being the man" is about. The wife is expected to be obedient to her husband if he is not in the wrong, in this manner, family environment does not gets upset. The husband have the right to penalize his family members on bad behavior, should the need arise. Woman also have some rights in these matters but she needs to respect her husband and husband needs to prove his worth by fulfilling her needs. Once a man acts like one, he is going to be successful in his life in all of his aspects.

Burger or choodoo mard kuch nahin kar sakte, bahir logon ki dictation lete hain aur ghar main apni aurat ki. In ke bache bhi inko seriously nahin leite.

You decide.

If you cannot control your own sins/mistakes who are you to question your wife? Blind man showing way to others?

By the way apni is mulla mentality se nikjal ayo...apni aurat/biwi/beti k samney itni izzat kamayo k ankh band kar k tumhari baat waisey he maan ley. Aurat mard ki baat tab he nahi manti jab dil se uski izzat apney se be ziyada na karey, period. Agar tumhari aurat tumhari baat na maney to sharam kha k ye sochna chahiye ka aisa hua kyun...mei aur kya behtar kar sakta hun k meri itni izzat ho k meri baat manni jaye.

Zabardasti se tum izzat nahi kamatey sirf anpi marziyan he chalety ho...khuda bhi sochta ho ga, aurat jaisi nehmat kis ko dey de main ney.
So you are painting all men with the same brush? Why are you assuming others to be blind?

Do some reading on gender psychology, what women expect from men and what men expect from women.

Also stereotyping logic does not works. Some people are rotten to the core from inside and they will harm you in worst possible ways. Sirf mard kharab nahin hote, aurtoon bhi kharab ho sakti hain. Taale aik haath se nahin bajti.
 
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AsadAbrar

PG's Original Coolboy \m/
Aug 27, 2009
5,477
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The burger remark was not specifically aimed towards you, it is aimed towards those men who have emasculated mindset due societal conditioning.

Here is an analogy:

If you do something wrong, would your parents not advice you against it? If you continue to repeat the wrong, would your parents not penalize you? Key thing is "accountability" of wrong/bad behavior.

Their is law and order system in a society to prevent its decay; similarly, their should be rules and boundaries in a relationship to prevent its decay.

Enforcing your opinion on others is not a crime if you are not in the wrong. Your focus should be on the context and not simple black and white connotations. Relationships are not black and white matters.

Taliban analogy is extremely lame and pathetic, your boss gives you orders and enforces his opinions upon others in the work environment, why he does this? To fulfill his obligations to the organization, abide by its rules and keep it afloat. So should the boss be equated with Taliban?

I am not sure why you are twisting my point towards "apni accountability." Of-course, wiser spouse is likely to take charge in a relationship. Just like an organization, a family also needs wise leadership to prevent its decay and destruction.

Also, "apni accountability" logic does not realistically applies to the society, because "laton kai bhoot baton sai nahin mante." A corrupt person needs to learn a lesson the hard way or he will never.

Samaj aai? Lagta hai kai aap ne dunya ki ground realities ko sahi nahin pechana abhi taak.
I get your point. Parents ki baat zara different hai. They have more experience in life due to their age.

But, won't your wife have possibly the same mental/intellectual level as you?

My point is, marry a good person to avoid these things. Plus, men can also have downsides; not only women.

The boss analogy doesn't apply here as you don't marry your boss neither your wife works for you so she or you don't have any moral obligation to accept the other's opinion. However, it's better if you politely suggest your partner that you don't like that. A SENSIBLE person will definitely change himself/herself.
 

AsadAbrar

PG's Original Coolboy \m/
Aug 27, 2009
5,477
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I'm not pro-feminism and neither is what we believe here in Pakistan is right. There should be something between both dictated by social, moral and religious obligations.
 

LeGenD123

The One and Only
Sep 5, 2007
3,737
13
44
Lahore
I get your point. Parents ki baat zara different hai. They have more experience in life due to their age.
Experience ki baat nahi hai, samajdari ki baat hai. Agar aap ko right or wrong ki samaj hai, tu aap bhi dusroon ko samjhane ki position mein aa sakte hain.

But, won't your wife have possibly the same mental/intellectual level as you?
Yes, she can.

But focus on the topic: If your wife doesn't respects your boundaries, then what?

My point is, marry a good person to avoid these things.
Once again, this is not as easy as it sounds.

You can try to make best possible choice for yourself in case of marriage but you are still taking a risk. If you get a religious girl and you are religious yourself, excellent combination. If you get a girl who have different values then yours, still compromises have to be made and rules and boundaries have to be defined. Your wife should respect your decisions if they are not wrong. If she doesn't then you need to put your foot-down to prevent decay of your family like I hinted in my previous response.

Plus, men can also have downsides; not only women.
Of-course, nobody is perfect but their are good and sensible people on both sides.

The boss analogy doesn't apply here as you don't marry your boss neither your wife works for you so she or you don't have any moral obligation to accept the other's opinion. However, it's better if you politely suggest your partner that you don't like that. A SENSIBLE person will definitely change himself/herself.
My point is that stop equating matters with Taliban. We are not arguing about fanatics.

Also, your wife have obligations in marriage just like you have. Your obligations include providing for the family and protecting it, your wife's obligations include keeping you happy and respect your decisions if they are not in the wrong while you are meeting her needs.

You can opt for giving polite suggestions but what if your wife doesn't listens to you, then what? Once again, try to focus on the CONTEXT.
 

lifeinabucket

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Sep 11, 2010
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Why do you need to beat your wife to put an end to her questionable behavior? Their are other ways to penalize your spouse to make her realize the errors in her ways.
I never said I do. You were advocating for men rights and man's superiority so I merely assumed it wouldn't be a problem for you to hit her to make sure you that you are superior to her in every aspect.

Apne mindset ko broad karo. Matters of life are not so black and white.
Thank you.. But my mind is already very broad. Aur Broad kya tow I will have to expose the Pakistani society and their wife-beating husbands who think they are practicing Islam.

If your wife does not respects your decision, then you shall warn her first. If she doesn't takes your warning seriously, you can choose to not sleep with her. If she still doesn't gets your point after some days, you tell her to don't come back to the home unless she realizes errors in her ways. Let her go outside wearing those dirty dresses but you lock the door and do not let her get in your home unless she learns to respect your decision. Point here is not about enforcing your opinion on others, point here is about preventing decay of your marriage and making sure that their will be accountability for bad/questionable behavior.
Yes, you can choose to not sleep with her, you can choose to lock her outside... you can throw her to the jackals. You can do a lot of things.

Which one of those things will make her respect you ? .. I doubt anyone of them.



Male chauvinist bullshit logic have nothing to do with this matter. Choodoo mard (emasculated man) ki muashre mei koi value nahin hoti, yaad rakho.
The same " Muashara" which is lagging 200 years back in economy, family life, values and progress. Ussi society ki baat kar rahay ho app? Jahan loug aik doosray ki tang khenchty hein and they are the most corrupt people ever.

If that's the "Muashara" I have to earn my value in, I am fine thanks living in my own society that I have created for myself.

You can follow the same crowd, the same male dominated people who think that we are really very much controllers of our women !

God have given you strength and highly intelligent mind, learn to use both in smart ways. Learn to judge things in accordance with context and not as per black and white connotations.
Agreed.

If your own wife will not respect you, your kids wouldn't either. Get this printed on a stone..

Pure conjecture. Highly suppositional.

A man is judged on the basis of his strength(s).
Male Chauvinistic Dominated Thinking.

Man is judged on the basis of how he treats other men, not on how strong he is.

Tabhi app jaisy loug buhat exist kartey hein because of the fallacious thinking of strength.

In an Islamic society, a man is expected to be the captain of the family. He have responsibility on his shoulders to provide roti, kapra and makaan to his family, he have the responsibility to prevent decay of his family, being wise. This is what "being the man" is about. The wife is expected to be obedient to her husband if he is not in the wrong, in this manner, family environment does not gets upset. The husband have the right to penalize his family members on bad behavior, should the need arise. Woman also have some rights in these matters but she needs to respect her husband and husband needs to prove his worth by fulfilling her needs. Once a man acts like one, he is going to be successful in his life in all of his aspects.
He has the responsibility to provide and make sure everything is going okay.

There is no responsibility to enforce someone to embrace Islam. If that's the case, it wouldn't be allowed to marry an "Ahl-e-Kitaab" Christian women for a Muslim man.

There is no guarantee that a successful man in home will be successful in life.

Again pure hypothesis on your part.

Burger or choodoo mard kuch nahin kar sakte, bahir logon ki dictation lete hain aur ghar main apni aurat ki. In ke bache bhi inko seriously nahin leite.
Hating other societies or calling them burger and men choodoo mard won't make her respect you.

If you put a gun on someone's head they will respect you, but in reality they would be giving galiyan behind your back.

When did the Prophet ever put a gun to somebody's head and tell him , you have to do this, or else.........

But we have self-made males who think that showing strength is a sign of manliness.

Lol.

I rest my case.
 
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