how to over-come possesiveness?

[ikonox]

Whatever I own, or whomever I am in relationship with, I feel like to have full control over it! I always had it in me.

What I know is that I keep monitoring myself. And it bothers me most if I cant solve an issue that exists inside me.
Now, I do not know if I can deal my possessiveness in any way.

Does anyone has an idea about it?
Mind that I like to keep myself under-control (or I think I am doing so), I stop myself until I solve my confusions.
That is exactly the stage while I am typing this. Confused, caged in my thoughts, questioning myself.

 

[ikonox]

Possessiveness is disturbing me, as I am facing the consequences. Either I tend to lose interest in the object/person I am possessed about or I fight to third party!
What is most difficult right now is to face the strange irritation in my mind.

 

[Blastwave]

Have you considered the possibility that maybe its not possessiveness but the need to get everything and be responsible?

People who come from broken homes, have a tough child hood usually develop this.

 

[USUF]

Yupp. Lack of control in the past can harbor such emotions and feelings inside you and the person might feel the need to exercise "control" when they get older.

 

[RAJNI]

my dear brother seeing this critical situation of yours i would say

Keep your self calm and indulge yourself in the pathway of ISLAM

Pray as we are obliged towards ALMIGHTY 5 times a day

and one more thing to be taken as a vital note

Join Some Physical Fitness Exercise

it works Wonders believe me this is my own personal experience and many more around the world

i have seen that Gym Bodybuilding at a beginners level training release STRESS fatigue

makes a man healthy Smart And Super Horny

 

[USUF]

makes a man healthy Smart And Super Horny

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddeee

 

[ikonox]

Have you considered the possibility that maybe its not possessiveness but the need to get everything and be responsible?

People who come from broken homes, have a tough child hood usually develop this.

You are right about responsibility. I am the eldest brother and have a huge burden upcoming. But I think I am used to it because it is almost an habit of me to keep worrying about my family.
but how would you relate this to possessiveness? :/ sorry but I did not get you.

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my dear brother seeing this critical situation of yours i would say

Keep your self calm and indulge yourself in the pathway of ISLAM

Pray as we are obliged towards ALMIGHTY 5 times a day

and one more thing to be taken as a vital note

Join Some Physical Fitness Exercise

it works Wonders believe me this is my own personal experience and many more around the world

i have seen that Gym Bodybuilding at a beginners level training release STRESS fatigue

makes a man healthy Smart And Super Horny

Already have been following all this. Bodybuilding is my personal choice for physical activity too. I appreciate your answer, but I am focusing more on my mental state i.e. My ideas and emotions plus control over these

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Yupp. Lack of control in the past can harbor such emotions and feelings inside you and the person might feel the need to exercise "control" when they get older.

hmmmmm Somehow this answer is more realistic. Yes I have to confess that I have been in some distant relationships, and attachments with those whom I could not get.

but what to do now? cant quit myself. Neither can control everything within blink of an eye

 

[assuc]

i believe you want to make the world a better place and solve all the problem that's bothering you, i bet u care about many but this thinking kills you and you got in a state of confusion, basically you just don't complete what you start or its not completed like the way you want it to be, just tryina focus on one or two things at a time and rest can be solved later, just set your priorities and everything will go fine

 

[USUF]

hmmmmm Somehow this answer is more realistic. Yes I have to confess that I have been in some distant relationships, and attachments with those whom I could not get.

but what to do now? cant quit myself. Neither can control everything within blink of an eye

May be try treating your little siblings a little differently starting today? I see you're the eldest one so you obviously have siblings younger than you. May be start treating them in a way that is the opposite of how you were treated by 'whoever' when you were little. Trying to do the opposite for other people than what happened to you is sometimes a great way to bring inner satisfaction and maybe you'll try letting go of your possessive/aggressive nature when you realize that you are truly making a difference in someone else's life and right-ing the wrong that was done to you.

 

[LordIT]

Pardon my french, but is control freak the word you're looking for? Possesiveness is something else.

I went through this control freak phase during my first relationship. After my breakup - I realized no matter how many possibilities I consider, and no matter how many solutions I devise for the oh so many possibilities, something that can go wrong, will go wrong.

It's just the way life is meant to be and you can't change it. Without these problems, there would be no purpose of life. I came to terms with the fact that not every answer is within my reach.

Drop the remote control and let the wind drift you in whatever direction it may.

Sent from my GT-I9003 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Syavash]

Have you considered the possibility that maybe its not possessiveness but the need to get everything and be responsible?

People who come from broken homes, have a tough child hood usually develop this.

This is surprising.

Don't misinterpret this is as being possessive. If I am right, you feel the need to control situations, yourself, your emotions etc for the betterment of yourself or the people around you? I am like that too, as Blastwave said it can be due to reasons such as having a tough childhood (me). I wouldn't call this something dangerous or something you need to change about yourself.

Control over myself has honestly been a gift to me, I would not be in the mental state I am without with. Controlling others however can be dangerous, you can never predict or change every situation that arises in life, the most you can do is critique yourself and make yourself a better person, you'd atleast be making a difference in your own life and the lives of people around you.

People tend to loose control too much I think, cherish what you have.

EDIT: Since you mentioned relationships, unless you're letting go, you're not REALLY in a relationship. Trust me.

 

[Fkhan]

yes u can overcome possessiveness. Its easy. Start by giving away stuff u own. like u can give me your gaming console. It will help u. Just saying!

 

[ikonox]

yes u can overcome possessiveness. Its easy. Start by giving away stuff u own. like u can give me your gaming console. It will help u. Just saying!

that is the exact problem! I am generous mostly...about everything except few that I am possessed with. So is the case with relationships. There is a person, whom I do not want to have even friends!
I want to be her only reason! only person!

that is why I am calling this Possessiveness. Control thing also gets mixes when I try to fix everything about her! and myself too!
Dont know what it is.

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It is almost impossible to even think of sharing her! Isn't it possessiveness?
Strangely, I KNOW it IS wrong! yet I have it in me.

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@Blastwave @USUF

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I apologize if I am less expressive and for my question is confusing! I really appreciate that you guys still help me!

 

[ikonox]

i believe you want to make the world a better place and solve all the problem that's bothering you, i bet u care about many but this thinking kills you and you got in a state of confusion, basically you just don't complete what you start or its not completed like the way you want it to be, just tryina focus on one or two things at a time and rest can be solved later, just set your priorities and everything will go fine

yes it is. Plus this phenomenon gets mixed with possessiveness and becomes personal/object-specified. Other than thinking it as a general, I categorize these thoughts when thinking of one thing or one person only! I can deal with this alone ambitious thing.

 

[shahzadfootball]

makes a man healthy Smart And Super Horny

Uuhhhhh Rajni ? Might read your comment again bro ?

To OP,I'd suggest that just let it go,tell yourself that you don't own anyone or anything,everything is created and sustained by HIM so just let it goo

 

[Spiderman3000]

I dont know about relationships and such.. but I sure love to manipulate people :mushy:

 

[Yasir]

Have you considered the possibility that maybe its not possessiveness but the need to get everything and be responsible?

People who come from broken homes, have a tough child hood usually develop this.

I can, with personal experience, attest for that statement to be true.

I have the same problem. However, I find that developing an indifference for everything in general helped ... but then you become insensitive.

 

[Gizmo]

^^Apathy is never the naswer, no matter how hopeless the situation may be.It can lead to total detachment from everything.Trust me.

 

[ikonox]

I'd suggest that just let it go,tell yourself that you don't own anyone or anything,everything is created and sustained by HIM so just let it goo

that easy?? eh!! hard to let go those whom you love and, are POSSESSED about

perhaps I am making all this a monster in my mind, myself!

 

[Yasir]

^^Apathy is never the naswer, no matter how hopeless the situation may be.It can lead to total detachment from everything.Trust me.

Too late for that