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    Thread: The Official PG Jokes...

    1. #11
      Member

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      Old farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
      Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
      Johnson: "But I want you to."
      Wife: "But why?"
      Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

    2. #12
      Souls Collator!!!

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      HAHAHhaaaaa nice jokes every one keep it up.. i mean the chin...

    3. #13
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      A little boy at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
      His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
      The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

    4. #14
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      A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
      The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
      The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

    5. #15
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      I-POD in an Underwear ..This is quite an old one

      from here
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      To: My Loving Wife....
      A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he
      decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed
      wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the
      e-mail.
      Meanwhile...
      Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
      husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from
      relatives and friends.After reading the first message, she fainted.
      The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
      saw the computer screen which read:

      To: My Loving Wife
      Subject: I've Reached
      I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
      now,and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just
      reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for
      your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey
      is as uneventful as mine was.
      Regards,
      Ur Loving Husband.
      Likes Enferno, WH4Y liked this post
       

    6. #16
      Souls Collator!!!

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      LOL LOL that was funny ...
      People say.. that GOD is Dead!!But how can they think that! ''If I show them the Devil"
      http://www.pakgamers.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic3_1.gif

    7. #17
      Souls Collator!!!

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      Today's Joke: HRD Notice of a company to employees!
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Dear STAFF,
      Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise
      the efficiency of our firm.

      1) TRANSPORTATION:
      It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

      a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and
      therefore you do not need a raise.
      b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume
      you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
      c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you
      do not need a raise.


      2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
      Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
      - They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.


      3) LUNCH BREAK:
      a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they
      can look healthy.
      b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
      maintain their average figure.
      c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to
      drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.


      4) SICK DAYS:
      We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
      - If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


      5) SURGERY :
      As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
      - You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
      - To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.


      6) INTERNET USAGE :
      All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from
      your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
      will be deducted from your salary.

      - Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10 MB
      connection.

      Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3
      months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

      Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive
      employment experience.

      Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,
      irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,
      contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else.

      Best Regards,
      HRD
      People say.. that GOD is Dead!!But how can they think that! ''If I show them the Devil"
      http://www.pakgamers.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic3_1.gif

    8. #18
      Souls Collator!!!

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      Apply for a JOB..

      Likes WH4Y liked this post
       
      People say.. that GOD is Dead!!But how can they think that! ''If I show them the Devil"
      http://www.pakgamers.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic3_1.gif

    9. #19
      Souls Collator!!!

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      Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.
      It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.
      Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.

      When u feel sad....
      To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
      "damn I am really sooo cute" u will overcome ur sadness.
      But don't make this a habit.....
      Coz liars go to hell !!!!

      Your brain will be refreshed in the next five seconds.....

      5......



      4.......



      3.......



      2.......



      1........



      LOADING.....


      ERROR: no brain detected.
      People say.. that GOD is Dead!!But how can they think that! ''If I show them the Devil"
      http://www.pakgamers.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic3_1.gif

    10. #20
      Souls Collator!!!

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      No Wonder Teachers Go "Crazy" With Children...


      TEACHER: Why are you late?
      WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
      TEACHER: What sign?
      WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
      CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
      JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
      TEACHER: No, that's wrong
      JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
      SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
      TEACHER: What are you talking about?
      SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
      GEORGE: Here it is!
      TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
      CLASS: George!

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
      have ten years ago.
      WILLY: Me!

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
      FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
      SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
      JOSE: Don't bite any.

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

      TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
      ELLEN: I is...
      TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
      ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
      tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
      punish him?"
      Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
      Father : No. Why do you ask that?
      Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
      and one is blue with red spots!
      Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
      5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta
      got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
      your brother's. Did u copy his?
      Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

      *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

      Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
      are no longer interested?
      Pupil : A teacher.
      Likes WH4Y, Sweet liked this post
       
      People say.. that GOD is Dead!!But how can they think that! ''If I show them the Devil"
      http://www.pakgamers.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic3_1.gif

     

     

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