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Thoughts of the schizophrenic

Paindoo Boyz

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I was on my way to Genoa Italy.My flight was Dubai-Istanbul-Genoa.At Dubai Airpost while waiting in the lounge i notices a group of Pakistani youngsters sitting on the same gate as me,and that menat that they are boarding th same plane as me.Their loud chat with each other was annoying for the rest of the passengers as they were joking with each other at the top of their voices as if all of them have impaired hearing.
We had to wait another hour or so before boarding the plane,so it was entertaining at least for me to listen to what they are saying while pretending to read a news paper.
Mostly it was "Paindoo" chat,them commenting about pretty much every female in sight..including very old women "Yaar eh wii apnay time wich sohnee hondee hogee" (she must have been gorgeous in her youth)..and they kept staring at the old grannies,probably using their imaginations ...At times they would talk about their Buffalos and live stock back in their villages,and they kept arguing on what type of cow or Buffalo gives more milk,and eventually they all agreed that a certain breed from "Sahiwaal" is the best.
Then the announcement came for boarding the plane,and i picked up my hand carry and proceeded towards the gate.One of them noticed me and asked the others in muffled voice "Eh bandaa desi lagda wey" (This man looks Desi).The same person shouted loud "Oh paa gee kithaaa turay hoo" (Hey man where are you off to?),and i pretended that i didnt understand.He looked confused and then said "Acha theh fir eh Pakistanni nahi koi kalaa eh" (Ok he may not be a Pakistani,must be a Black african)..Now i have dark skin but didnt like being called "Kaala".
When i was entering the plane,i noticed them crossing other padssengers in the Que and randomly sitting at window seats,it appeared that they did not understand that every passenger is assigned a seat and can only sit there.One of them who was at the back of the line and did not get a chance to jump the Que,shoted at another who was sitting comfortably at some one else's window seat "Oh saamnay walee seat mall kay rakheen" (Please reserve the seat in front for me),and his friend started arguing in Pure punjabi with a caucasion looking man who was putting his hand carry in luggage compartment,preparing to sit on his window seat.
By now all passengers whose seats were snatched by the "Paindoo squad" were stood next to them confused and trying to argue with them for their seats,but the Paindoo squad was having none of it..There were six of them and with the exception of one who couldnt reach the window seat in time,the five of them were now arguing in Punjabi with very confused passengers,asking them to sit else where and to stop bugging them...Some passengers just gave up and sat on the next available seat,but there were two passengers who kept arguing and called the cabin crew to help them out.The cabin crew also tried their best but the Paindoo boys wont move.I could hear people saying bad things about Pakistan and Pakistanis as some of them realised that the boys are from Pakistan
I decided that its getting dirty and stepped in..In a loud voice i told the Cabin crew that the Boys wanting to sit near the windows are in a Group and all of them have a bad case of "Airplane Phobia" and some even have Clustrophobia,and that they may get swear panic attack if not allowed to sit on the window seats as looking out of the window calms them down.
I kept my voice high on purpose and half of the passengers heard what i awas saying,and that was it.People stops giving angry looks to the Paindoo boys,and now it was replaced by stares of sympathy.I got thanked by the cabin crew for letting them know about the "Medical condition" of the Passnegers.My little excuse wotked like a charm and the matter was settled.Not that the Paindoo boys understood,but they were happy for being left alone,probably thinking that their Arguments and swearing in Punjabi ..........worked.
The flight was quiet as all of them fell asleep and kept sleeping until the plane started to land,and thats when they jumped into action,shoutinng at each other excited at whatever they could see down below.
While disembarking the plane i tried to go as far away from them as possible,but my bad luck,they weer in front og me whne we Qued at the immigration counter,all six of them.
The first one reached the Italian Immigratin man,and the Immigration guy asked him in English what was the purpose of his visit,and he just stared at the immigration officer,saying nothing.
The Paindoo biy next to him stepped forward and told the immiration guy "O jee asee italy challay haan..jaan deyo sanoo" (We are off to Itlay,just let us go).
The Italian immigration man did not understand what they were saying and asked them to step aside and sit on some chairs he showed them at a distance,but none of them moved.
Once again i volunteerd and stepped forward,and asked the Immigration man if he wanted me to translate and he was releived to get this surprise help from me.
The next twenty minutes i translated whtever i could understand of their purpose of Visiting Italy,and i had to be creative and think of answers ion my own as the Pindoo boys were saying jibberish...It turned out that they were from nearby villages and from well to do Landlord families and randomly applied for a group visa to visit itlay and got it.They didnt have a plan,and didnt know what to do and where to go,although their travel agent had arranged a hotel booking for them,none of them appeared of being aware of it.I found out by grabbing their documents and having a look at it.
The immigration guy was satisfied with my answers on their behalf and stamped their passports.
For the next three hours i felt like banging my head in the waal,as they wont leave me and i had to guide them all the way to their hotel and book them in.
But it wasnt all doom and gloom,i made friends with them.During my stay in Genoa , i would vsit them in their hotel or sometimes they vsisted me at my place an dwe went out together.The first few vsists were unpleasent as their behavious was outlandish and pervert,they wont miss any chance of staring at thighs and chests,and making loud comments about pretty much ever passing by "Goree" but they started listening to me and eventually by day three they were well behaved.
I had two week stay in Genoa and then i had to go somewher else,so i said goodbye to the boys,as they had about 30 days on their Visa.
Months later when i was contacted by one of them,and came to know that atleast two of them managed to hook up with Italian girls on a long term relation,how they did it,i have no idea..Probably because an illiterate person is like a white board and its easier for them to learn a new language and adopt a new culture..Same is a bit difficult for an educated person..in my observation at least...At places where an Educated person will insist on Speaking English,the Illiterate Paindoo will try to pick up local language and try to speak that,as he doesnt know english,and while i will behave all snobby and reserve,a paindoo Illiterate will copy and mimic what the local people are doing and will blend in quicker...May be thats why i hav eseen Illiterate people going to Eurpe being more succesful than th eliterate ones...Agian thats jsut my observation..

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  1. syedfarazahmed's Avatar
    "Acha theh fir eh Pakistanni nahi koi kalaa eh"
    3 Likes, 0 Thanks
  2. Serious Sam's Avatar
    Nice one.

    I am sure that you spoke something else where you wrote that they had some phobia. Cant be true. BTW it would be better if you start telling us that what other passengers were saying about them.
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  3. Syavash's Avatar
    Awesome blog once again, loved reading it. Damn they managed to hook up with italian girls I dont get it
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  4. totallyme247's Avatar
    Wow, what an experience! You went quite out of your way, I would've just yelled at them to shut up xD Nice blog =]
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  5. khizarr1's Avatar
    Haha! nice one!
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  6. MrDeadman's Avatar
    Is it just me or did a blog i wrote a long time ago share many similar incidents?
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  7. cobby's Avatar
    Its quite enjoyable journey you had funny to read but

    I am little bit against what you did for the paindoo squad , cause guys like these are responsible for many of the immigration rules to be changed , they go on visit visa's and try to stay in countries illegally , and these are the ones mostly caught up and creating bad impression for country .

    Helping is a good thing , but some people don't deserve help , My brother went to UK and he helped a student ,cause he just got nervous the student and he had every possible legal documents , he could have been rejected , my brother just guided him to say things in a proper way and not panic . It's just that lot of paindoo squads have migrated to different Europeans country in past were welcomed cause gora's thought they were funny , but now they see every pakistani as god dammn joke , even if he has legal stuff .
    If u visit places like oldham and Birmingham , every got dammn desi girl looks like sister of each other , cause majority of desi wed people from there family and all of those cousins and other have same facial features
    3 Likes, 0 Thanks
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  8. dexter786's Avatar
    bauhauhauhauhauhauhauh great oye (lmao)
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  9. assasin42o's Avatar
    Nice read. A bit dramatic ? Because, it's hard to believe that those guys couldn't understand and speak English when they're going somewhere totally new.. :/

    You look really helpful and patient tbh.
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
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  10. abdulrahim's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by assasin42o
    Nice read. A bit dramatic ? Because, it's hard to believe that those guys couldn't understand and speak English when they're going somewhere totally new.. :/

    You look really helpful and patient tbh.
    You will be surprised!! I personally know tonns of people who dont know english and they visited europe.
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
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  11. Ashad Razavi's Avatar
    Experienced. You're talking about Europe? Such people didn't even leave Kiyv, Ukraine :P
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
  12. Gamer45's Avatar
    Nice experience, I enjoyed reading it!
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  13. achoo's Avatar
    lol. Great blog.

    "Acha theh fir eh Pakistanni nahi koi kalaa eh"
    Paindoos will never change
    1 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Likes CrashBandicoot liked this post
  14. CrashBandicoot's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by MrDeadman
    Is it just me or did a blog i wrote a long time ago share many similar incidents?
    Hi,Post a link of your blog,lets read that.
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
  15. CrashBandicoot's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Serious Sam
    Nice one.

    I am sure that you spoke something else where you wrote that they had some phobia. Cant be true. BTW it would be better if you start telling us that what other passengers were saying about them.
    No fear of air travel is real and google is your friend..
    Watch this panic attack video..Nobody wants a fellow passenger to reach this situation .

    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
  16. CrashBandicoot's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Syavash
    Awesome blog once again, loved reading it. Damn they managed to hook up with italian girls I dont get it
    Ever wondered why the noob next door gets all the hot chicks but you the descent smart guy cant? (just an example)..
    women are complicated...be it Pakistani woman,Italian or eskimo woman...all the same.
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
    Updated 20-02-12 at 12:01 AM by CrashBandicoot
  17. syedfarazahmed's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by CrashBandicoot
    No fear of air travel is real and google is your friend..
    Watch this panic attack video..Nobody wants a fellow passenger to reach this situation .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxtyisoNBaI

    hahaha i will die i will die shoot me shoot me
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
  18. lilsouljah's Avatar
    I've heard that Pakistan's and Italians aren't all that different. (pardon me for stereotyping, if you will).
    Amusing and entertaining as always, crash.
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
  19. Serious Sam's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by CrashBandicoot
    No fear of air travel is real and google is your friend..
    Watch this panic attack video..Nobody wants a fellow passenger to reach this situation .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxtyisoNBaI
    Damn!. I think they should have sedated him in the first minute... but what do they do?. Zip tie his hands. Fkn morons!.
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
  20. Deadly Shadow's Avatar
    LMAO!

    They (paindoo) people have a MAJOR problem with staring at "foreign" people. (Most Pakistanis/Desi's have a staring problem) Especially when looking at women, its embarrassing. They see legs for the first time and they go crazy.

    Here is a public service message: Don't stare, just do what every guy in the rest of the world does...glance.
    0 Likes, 0 Thanks
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