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Thoughts of the schizophrenic

Odd Jobs

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Over the years i have done certain odd jobs,well paid odd jobs i would say.
One odd job i did for some time was working in a Morgue.It was a very old Morgue in the middle of nowhere.The old timers who had been working there most of their lives told me that the morgue was built sometime in the 17th century.It was on the edge of Peak district National Park,and the surrounding area was empty.There was a cellar where they used to wash corses and prepare them for burial.It wasnt used anymore and was converted to a store.You got a chill up your spine even if you go down there in the day time and nobody went there in the night.
I never had any supernatural experience there but other staff had some very spooky storied to tell.Some of them claimed regular sighting of ghosts in certain parts of the morgue and they had even given names to the gosts.But i never saw anything unusual.

The Morgue gate was where the Ambulances came with Dead Bodies and we had to off load the bodies from the Ambulance,put them on a wheeled stretcher and the Push the stretcher down a steep road for about 50 meters to the Freezer room.There the Bodies were placed in individual Freezer chests,awaiting the reletives to collect the body or for the coroner's office for post mortem if the death was under suspicious circumstances and relatives asked for an investigation.
Here in UK companies arrange funerals,all the way from collecting the corpse to preparing it and burying it and transporting relatives to church and graveyard and then to their homes..
Corpses are given peopper make over as in propper dress and a full makeup including hair style as written in the will,or as asked by the Relatives...All this costs something around 600 to 200 0 pounds.
But received Corpses direct from the Hospital,fresh from their death beds.Many corpses had to be taken out of the body bags in which they came and put inside another Bodybag as the existing bodybag wasnt appropriate for Freezing.
On one such occasion when we opened the hospital bodybag and tried to put this fat man's body in one of the Morgue's freezer Quality Body bag,the fat man wont fit.His belly was too high and the zipper wont close.The old timer with me tried a few times and then asked me to wait and went some where..He came back with a hammer and a towel in his hand,he placed the folded towel on the fat man's ribs and hit hard with the hammer,the ribs broke,and the belly collapsed enough to let us shut the zipper..Needles to say that i was shocked,and he just smiled at me..saying "Dont worry i will fix them later...Tricks of the trade,nobody will notice,and he is dead,wont feel the pain...makes job easier for us..the living people".
Lter when the Body was half frozen and apperantly shrunk a bit,he pulled it out and fiddles with the Broken ribs and somehow put them back in position...ish
On another occasion,while pushing the wheeled stretcher downhill with an old woman's corpse on it,one of the wheels jammed and the strtcher flipped over,the dead body fell off anbd started rolling down the hill..So there was me and this old timer chasing a dead old woman who was rolling downhill,and beleive me we had to give her a good chase to catch her..Wonder if she was an athelete when alive...Anyway,when we finally moved her into the Morgue,we decided to open the bodybag and see if the fall had damaged anything,and there it was,her nose had broken and tilting to a side.I was again shocked,but the old times had already started fiddling with the nose trying to straighetn it..But everytime he pulled the broken nose back to its position it would fall again..He thought for a few minutes and then went away..This time he came back with some toothpicks..He placed three or four toothpicks on each side of the broken dose so that one end of th etooth pick was resting on th eold woma's face an dthe other end was supporting the nose,holding it in position..
With the nose locked in position by toothpicks we slid her into the freezer.10 hours later we pulled the old lady out a bit from the freezer,and now that she was frozen solid,we removed the tooth pick framing from her nose and it stayed in position.
I left the job within a month,as although it was well paid,i couldnt put up with the old timers' tricks of the trade.
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Comments

  1. assasin42o's Avatar
    Lol @ the term "Old timer". Interesting blog..

    Altough, I would NEVER do such job, even if it pays me a million/month. Because :

    1 - I CAN'T "SEE" deadbodies. (I faint even by seeing my OWN blood =.=)
    2 - Morgue, and that too, middle of NOWHERE? Are you kidding me? I don't want to be haunted by ghosts..
    3 - Breaking ribs, attaching toothpicks, how can you even bare that? *Phewww* ..
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  2. khizarr1's Avatar
    woah! sounds spooky! never would do this type of job even if i get paid thousands of rupees/pounds/dollars!
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  3. Arkonov's Avatar
    Sounds like a good job, plus the money's good.
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  4. omarko's Avatar
    I would do it for the Money.

    Bhai jab pairh pe paysay lagay hotay hain tou insaan nakhray karta hai.
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  5. Deadly Shadow's Avatar
    I would be scarred for life!
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  6. Syavash's Avatar
    ^Omarko, you can do better things for the money, its not the last job in the world. Personally, I'd never want such a job.
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  7. hamxa911's Avatar
    well the job sounds pretty strange...but u can get used to pretty much anything given time and circumstances....so its a experience nonetheless.....
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  8. YanZZah's Avatar
    No wonder why the funeral plan costs thousand of dollars. odd job of this kind, well i would never do this no matter how much money one will give to convince me.

    Bloody damn battler you CB.

    the best part is that your so called old-timer was professional dealing with these corpses kinda issues. Not useful as tits on a bull.
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  9. syedfarazahmed's Avatar
    damn... himmat ka kaam hai....hats off Sir.
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  10. wfsoomro's Avatar
    I'd do the job, perhaps it would remove the fear of corpses. I really liked the part where the dead old woman flipped LOL. Just imagine if her relatives had seen that happening LOL.
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  11. MaS007's Avatar
    LMAO!!!!!!!!
    i would do it.....yea it would be a nice experience
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